Paying the Price
Posted on Wednesday, January 25th, by Mickey
All my life, I've been basically chivalrous. I open doors for women. In a crowded supermarket, where there is only room for one to pass, I let the women go before myself. I will always carry heavy items for a woman. I will always open the passenger door first for my date when I'm driving her, I'll make an effort to walk between a female companion and street traffic, and I will always throw my cape down over puddles to let women pass un-muddied. This stuff isn't world-changing, but I like these little traditions.
But I'm absolutely sick of the correlation between supposed chivalry and money. What is it about the dollar that says women are respected; what is it about gold that shows that we value women; what is it about a diamond that shows we're about more than fucking? The short answer to these three questions? Nothing.
Honestly, the paradoxes are just astounding when it comes to the ground I must cover as a succesful male. I must be strong. I must be handy. I must have a cock of a decent size. I must be interesting, but I also need to be able to drop money like lead weights when it comes to a woman I like. Tell me, how can I afford the fly car, the hot wardrobe, the time to exercise–the things that attract so many women–still have enough money to pamper someone I'm dating even just casually, AND be an interesting and accomplished individual? You want me to be able to talk about great literature and take you to Jean George?! You want me to pick you up in a new Lexus and fly you to Fiji for the weekend?!? You want me to volunteer in the community, take you shopping, and buy you a princess cut, three carat diamond set in a platinum band?!?!?
The truth is, while I've never been driven to it, $50 in Montreal will get me a much better blowjob than you might give me after I take you to a $300 meal. I'll probably get better pillow-talk afterwards, too; at least I'll get to practice my french. No, honestly, let me get to why I'm so bitter. I'm so bitter because I made the decision to forgo a lucrative job in order to educate myself, to go back to grad school, to stretch myself to be a more complete person; and when it comes to finding someone, none of that means shit past the initial flirtation if I can't pony up the dollars to buy your love. You'd be happier if I'd taken some high-paying position that meant nothing to me and probably depended on the exploitation of countless people below in order for me to buy you that slutty cocktail dress you want from Dolce & Gabbana. Then you wear it when you strut over to the polling place in order to vote Democrat. In the end, what differentiates you from a high paid prostitute? That you receive food, clothing, and a place to live, rather than cash?
Go get a job. Buy your own shit. And when you want to have a decent conversation, offer to buy me dinner. My hourly charge is low. I just need to be compensated with some fucking decency.
Full of bile, but still looking for more friends.
January 25th, at 4:21 pm
I think you’re dating the wrong girls, hon.
January 26th, at 1:27 pm
I don’t know where you’re finding these darling women, but that’s not true for all females. I once knew someone (quite possibly and ex) that liked to flaunt their money. It did nothing for me, actually it just pissed me off and made me feel like he was constantly bragging.
I never went looking for a guy like that, he happened to win me over well before the money and he did that with intelligent conversation. Obviously, once he decide to make this exquist personality change, I hit the road.
Now, I’m with a guy that is a complete gentleman and has enough in the bank to get by. Not only that but he’s still finishing off grad school himself, so we can have plenty of decent conversations.
If this really is what you’ve been encountering, then you need to start looking else where for the right girl.
January 26th, at 1:51 pm
I hate guys that flaunt their “money”. I am pretty happy that I can buy myself the things I want and need, and I dont look to a man to do that for me. If a man buys me something, it’s a nice surprise and I take it as such. I am sickened that there are still women out there who believe in finding a paycheck through a man. I would prefer simpler things, a nice date, someone who opens my door, a great conversation… rather than someone who will take care of me.
January 30th, at 9:24 pm
I concur with Amy & Shawna; not totally sure where you’re finding these women, but it’s unfortunate just the same. I’ve always been goal-oriented which has carried over to my career — I like making my own money, supporting myself and paying my own bills.
At the same time, you gotta strike a balance with your mate. My boyfriend of over 2 years lives with me and isn’t totally bringing home his share of things. I don’t expect him to make more than me (he doesn’t) or contribute more than I do (he doesn’t), but it’s become an issue in our relationship, compounded by the fact that he doesn’t act with much chivalry anymore.
The point? Keep doing what you’re doing. Does money matter? Yeah, maybe later once you’ve gotten serious. But so long as you treat your lady right and don’t live off of her…you’ll do just fine.
February 1st, at 10:37 am
Well, it seems that we’re all in agreement: I date the wrong girls.
But honestly, do you four know how much of a rarity you are?
February 5th, at 4:38 pm
No, as much as I concur with the girls, I really think that we are the norm and you’re just looking in the wrong section of Barneys (or even looking in Barneys is an ix-nay…) for the woman of your dreams. There’s something to be said about ambition, generosity and chivalry that money will never equal. While I empathize with your frustration, it’s a little disconcerting that you think the majority of women are like that.
I’m going to become a lawyer soon and make a shit load of dosh. You can be sure that I won’t be looking in the over-worked, assholic, showy lawyer pool. Bring on the REAL MEN!
February 5th, at 5:49 pm
I have to slightly disagree with all the other ladies. I’m 21 and a college student, so I don’t expect $300 meals at all, but I think that the guy should pay for a movie or dinner, at least at first. When the relationship develops further, sometimes I’ll pay, we’ll split or whatever. But especially, when I get older, I think however much more men get paid on the dollar than do women, that extra money can be spent on us. I’m not saying a Dolce and Gabana dress, but show me that I’m worth some of your hard-earned money, that you would sacrifice some of it for me.