Playing a Man Down
Posted on Wednesday, January 11th, by Mickey
Everyone knows that the worst part of a breakup isn't so much in the goodbye. Sure, there's tears, bruised egos, and sometimes way too much information about who your ex is rebounding with. But all that isn't too bad, usually because you've been expecting it. If you're lucky (or unlucky in many cases) there'll be the breakup sex. But something worse, which we never ever think about when we start playing adult peekaboo, is that once we breakup, we have to talk to everyone else about it. Either it's people sharing their sympathies, or obliviously telling you how good you look with your significant other, or sometimes it's people wondering if it's cool with you if they ask out your ex now. Regardless of the kind of conversation, you've got to talk to people. You've got to let people know. You've got to make an…explanation of some sort or another.
Well, some of you might have noticed that we've had a bit of a breakup here at Boyspoke, and much as I hate to be the bearer of the news, I just pointed out that this is part of the deal. We've got to talk about it. So the site and Toby have gone their separate ways. I won't lie to you, it's not like anybody got away without hurt feelings, but I also don't want to go into too much detail. So, like a hair metal band that puts out a press release to explain why they break up after playing together a full twenty years after they should have called it quits, I'll just say that we had "creative differences." I'm personally sad to see Toby go, especially since in the divorce settlement he got to walk with his old posts. Still, let's wish him lots of luck and all the best, wherever he goes next.
The thing is, Toby and I got along great. As a matter of fact, I know that he was secretly my #1 fan around here. I mean, I don't want to brag, but I heard that during the breakup he said:
Mickey is pretty much the last hope for the male species. I mean seriously, he knows sports and classic literature. He isn't afraid to let a woman see his sensitive side but he can also fuck like an angry badger. Let's not even get into his unique insights on personal grooming, I can't wait for that post! Which brings up a good point. I hope…um…it will be cool…if I still come around and…read the site from time to time. Trust me, I won't try anything. I just want to…ya know…stay in touch. I'm gonna miss my time with Mickey. He's totally been a role model for me. Do you think he's going to miss me? Is he already commenting on somebody else's posts? Good God, I want to have his babies.
Anyhow, don't quote me on that…it could have gotten a bit distorted as it was carried along the grapevine. So since y'all know about the breakup, you can quit asking about it.
January 11th, at 10:30 am
hahahaha!
Awww, poor Toby. I think I hear some Air Supply…
January 11th, at 12:59 pm
um, what the hell happened to Russell??
January 11th, at 1:37 pm
Why am I always the last person to know about these things?
BTW, Mickey? Not sure that fucking like an angry badger is altogether a good thing…
January 11th, at 2:17 pm
Nor an inticing image to the female population.
January 11th, at 2:48 pm
@Jenna: Air Supply, that’s what that is. At first I thought it was Yes, but not progressive enough.
@CJ: Sorry man, I heard late too. The Site has been understandably sullen and quiet about the whole thing. I basically had to bribe her out of her silence with a promise of some sexy new HTML. As for the badger comment, I wasn’t entirely sure how to take it, but Toby is a bit of an eccentric. I like to think of myself more as an Ocelot.
@Casey: Luckily I’m not relying on Toby to present an enticing image of my sexual being.
January 11th, at 3:43 pm
casey: i believe russel ran off with rizzo….that’s what i heard.
January 11th, at 5:19 pm
It’s not the sharing that gets to me because quite frankly when I share my feelings with the majority of human beings it goes something like this:
We broke up, it’s shitty…that’s about it?
Then someone who thinks there all catering to my needs (when what they are truly doing is pissing me off by getting me talk even more about something I don’t want to talk about) chimes in with:
Do you want to talk about it?
My reply to that would have to be:
We just did.
Now here’s the big one. This is awesome. When people start telling you ways to get over it and how much they know you must hurt right now. You may have felt shitty, but now you got some pantywaist telling you how they felt when it happened to them. You were just a little depressed about it but we got Deputy Depression over here telling you how you might want to kill yourself or do harm to others?! Shit I was just going to eat a sandwich and have a beer! Now I’m going to end up killing myself?
People will do that to you if you let them. If you start listening to what they have to say it is possible for you to start questioning what they’re telling you.
Lesson to be learned…block them out in your mind and begin thinking about who you could call and exploit get to comfort in your “highly fragile” state.
January 11th, at 5:34 pm
@Ryan: Yeah, I feel you on all that. Especially that last idea…
January 11th, at 8:17 pm
Oh yeah, I’m full of glorious ideas and notions, you got to think outside the box. Or in this case, I guess I would be thinking about being inside the box.