Bottle of red, bottle of white…
Posted on Wednesday, March 1st, by CJ
Before I attempt to engage you, the female, in conversation at this bar/nightclub/party/other assorted setting in the greater Los Angeles area, please take a moment to answer these questions to the best of your ability.
1. I am:
an aspiring actress, so I wait tables
an aspiring musician, so I wait tables
remarkably unconnected to the entertainment industry, so don't try to impress me with what you do or who you know
what do you mean, you don't know who I am?
not single, but will allow you to hit on me so I have stories to tell my girlfriends about you later
2. So far today, I have eaten:
0-5 oz. of food
6-10 oz. of food
at least one actual meal
food is, um, like, irrelevant
3. The amazing PG-rated talent I have that will make you most want to take me to bed is:
I can tie a maraschino cherry stem into a knot… with my tongue
I can unwrap a Starburst… with my tongue
I was a gymnast in high school and/or college
4. I will allow you to:
buy me a drink
get my number
take me home
a & b, but not c
a & c, but not b
5. I am looking for:
a sugar-daddy to spoil me until I bore of him
a way into the movie industry
a few free drinks off some poor, unsuspecting chump, and you look like you could star in that role
6. The national event that most affects my life is:
the war in Iraq
the skyrocketing gas prices
OMG, Nick and Jessica broke up!
the fallout from Hurricane Katrina
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