*boyspoke…we’re not kidding around*

I was reading this article about "Spunky Single Girl" — you know, the character that's basically the stereotype of just about every single TV sitcom out there. If you own a TV or have ever watched TV or maybe have only just heard of TV, you know of some TV show that features Spunky Single Girl. (In fact, that new show with Rebecca Romijn where she's basically an updated, hotter, less angry version of Murphy Brown seems like a halfway decent example of someone portraying Spunky Single Girl.)

You know, someone whose life is in order, who gets to do amazing stuff, who never has to wait in line anywhere, whose apartment is always clean and tastefully appointed, who never has to do laundry or take out the trash and who is just the coolest girl around and is constantly going through moronic guys who make even us regular guys feel sorry on her behalf that she's being forced to spend time with them.

The thing is, as the article's author says, Spunky Single Girl doesn't really exist. I know, imagine — something on TV that doesn't exist in reality! But here's the deal — how are we men supposed to get a good idea on how women are in real life in order to court them… if not by watching TV? And since we can't get through those damn magazines like Cosmo or Glamour or Home & Garden that tell you how you're supposed to act because we just can't stand all those beauty and fashion tips, we're forced to rely on these canned sitcoms and their fake characters.

Which means that we get our hopes up there might actually be real Spunky Single Girls out there. So we're going out there, looking for these women who don't really exist. How frustrating is that for us? I think it'd be in every American guy's best interests by marching on Hollywood and demanding that they get some real women on these TV shows. Enough with the fake women! There's tons of them in Los Angeles already. Why perpetuate it across the airwaves?

If we see more real women on TV, it might better prepare us for emotional outbursts, spontaneous crying, attempts at mind-reading, ways to impress women, realizing that women don't roll out of bed with perfect hair and makeup… hell, women, it's in your best interests to stop the reign of Spunky Single Girl on TV as well.

And while I'm at it, I probably need to stop listening to Blink 182's song "Josie" and wishing that Josie was my girlfriend.

Yeah, my girlfriend takes me home when I'm too drunk to drive
And she doesn't get all jealous when I hang out with the guys
She laughs at my dumb jokes when no one does
She brings me Mexican food from Sombrero's just because

And my girlfriend likes U.L. and D.H.C.
And she's so smart and independent, I don't think she needs me
Quite half as much as I know I need her
I wonder why there's not another guy that she'd prefer

And when I feel like giving up, like my world is falling down
I show up at 3am
She's still up watching Vacation, and I see her pretty face
It takes me away to a better place and

(I know that everything [3x]) Everything's gonna be fine
(I know that everything [3x]) Everything's gonna be fine

Yeah, my girlfriend takes collect calls from the road
And it doesn't seem to matter that I'm lacking in the bulge
She laughs at my dumb jokes when no one does
She brings me Mexican food from Sombrero's just because

And when I feel like giving up, like my world is falling down
I show up at 3am
She's still up watching Vacation, and I see her pretty face
It takes me away to a better place and

(I know that everything [3x]) Everything's gonna be fine
Repeat last line ad nauseum.

–Blink 182, "Josie"

This entry was posted on Friday, April 7th, at 8:00 am and is filed under girls + rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. -->