Fool Me Twice…
Posted on Tuesday, May 30th, by CJ
You know that picture of the aftermath of a couple having sex on a dusty car hood? Snopes says it may not be real! Gasp! Insert shock and awe! My world is crumbling as I write this.
My entire perspective on things having been thrown into disarray, I began wondering what else could be exposed as untrue. Or maybe just plain exposed.
- Guys like hot but dumb. As a general rule, hot is key. A hot woman is… well, awesome. But a hot woman with brains in her head is awesomer. It's not all just boobs and legs… even if it's mostly boobs and legs. That'll get you only so far. Once you get past the sex, you've got to have something to talk about. Otherwise, it's just a one-night stand with a hot chick, and if she's naïve, that can turn into a stalkerfest where she thinks you actually like her. Then she starts calling you and asking you why you're not calling her and how come she hasn't seen you and why you're not asking her out again, and that's a huge mess.
- Women go for nice guys. Yeah, heard that one before too. The other variation is "after they date the bad boys, they eventually realize they want to settle down with the nice guys." If that were true, there wouldn't be as much spousal abuse, there wouldn't be so many single nice guys — and Cinemax wouldn't have as many subscribers, nor would Girls Gone Wild videos be so popular.
- Belching is unattractive. A chick who can belch can play along with the guys. We love that. And she might even quote movies like Blazing Saddles and Team America, which would rock.
- We understand your attraction to David Hasselhoff. Not really — I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.