*boyspoke…we’re not kidding around*

The line from Clueless really is true: "Sometimes, you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex." Then again, as if we really needed any reminders?

Here's the thing, though — it's summertime, especially here in Los Angeles. Summer means tank-tops. Super-short skirts. Daisy Dukes. Bikinis. Mmm… bikinis… Sorry, I drifted off there for a second. I'm seriously going a little nuts here, since there are so many gorgeous women wandering around wearing next to nothing. I don't gawk — I'm a careful people-watcher. An observer, if you will.

They're everywhere. Yeah, I may have come a wee bit close to a couple of car accidents because I wasn't paying complete attention to the road… I may have been paying a little more attention than I should've to my, ahem, surroundings.

It's so completely a game. Women, it's not like we don't know we're being teased. And yet, it's the same principle as the chick in the gym who gave me a disapproving look because I happened to observe the fact that her body was put together by a technician somewhere in the Holy Management and her attire left almost nothing to the imagination. I'm the asshole for looking because I apparently don't meet her specs for the type of guy she's trying to haul in.

One of my favorite standup routines is by Dave Chappelle. He talks about how women protest being objectified based on what they're wearing — the exact lines go like this: "The girl says, 'Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!' Which is true. Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't ever forget it. But ladies, you must understand that that is fucking confusing! It just is. Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me, saying, 'Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!' 'OHH!! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a police officer!' All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform."

In other news, I got an invite to an old friend's wedding in August on Long Island. And again, I have no date. Maybe I should take one of the Girlspoke women with me? I wonder if they put out….

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