*boyspoke…we’re not kidding around*

Yes, looks are definitely a factor when deciding whether you're going to (a) hit that, (b) date that or (c) marry that. I mean, sexual attraction is the difference between friends and more, so wouldn't you need to find someone attractive on the outside too in order to want to have sex with them?

However, I still think that, at least for some of us with brains in our heads, personality and intelligence makes a difference. Definitely in my case, a woman will become less attractive if the inner package isn't as attractive as the outer package. There have been times when I've engaged a target, only to break off shortly thereafter because it just wasn't worth it — I could tell she was either dumb, a materialistic bitch, way off the reservation, stuck-up or all of the above.

There are women out there who can be considered moderately physically attractive, but their appearance is just completely negated by their personalities. If presented with the opportunity to bang them, I would flat-out say no and walk away. Seriously, despite the fact that it's been a while… okay, it's been way too fucking long… I'd still turn them down if they asked. Examples include:

- Ann Coulter. If she doesn't speak, she's actually kind of an attractive woman. Long blonde hair that would be great to hang on to while I was taking her from behind, a great rack and a thin waist. But let's face it — the woman is batshit crazy. Her recent TV appearances have made me want to reach through the screen and strangle her with my bare hands. And I am so turned off by her that even if she showed up naked in my bedroom tonight, I would find the nearest bazooka to do some serious damage to her.

- Paris Hilton. Okay, so Paris isn't the most attractive woman around. I will admit that's she moderately pretty, what with the slim figure and the face that doesn't shatter mirrors. Why everyone thinks she's the most awesome thing since Helen of Troy, I don't get. Do her nipples spew beer or something? She's just plain dumb. She has no redeemable qualities whatsoever. She is medicated out of her mind most of the time. And her idea of getting attention is getting into public fights and stripping. If she showed up naked in my bedroom tonight, I would find a basement in which to lock her up in, because obscurity is the only punishment that would suit her.

- Janice on Friends. Yeah, I like brunettes. Want to make something of it? The actress who played Janice was actually pretty good-looking. But that voice… oh God, that voice… and that laugh… and the way she kept being so clingy… It just was so bad. Everyone mocked her. Even people in real life mocked her. If I were sucked into TV-land like The Last Action Hero, I still wouldn't be able to nail Janice. That would be like last-resort-save-the-human-race-while-staggeringly-drunk sex.

- My most recent ex-girlfriend. She was gorgeous. Seriously. It wasn't even just in my opinion. All of my friends thought she was hot too, which, of course, led to many questions about how the fuck I was able to land her. But several months into the relationship, things started to crop up. Like her pot addiction, which she unsuccessfully tried to cover up. Her mood swings. Her compulsive lying, which became way too damn frequent. Her immaturity. The fact that just after sex, as we were lying naked in her bed, she took phone calls from her ex-boyfriend. So when I realized that I no longer had feelings for her, despite the overwhelming desire to keep screwing because she was the best lay I'd ever had and she could keep up with my libido, I cut things off. (Of course, that's when she also took a swing at me, which is another reason why I walked away.)

Yeah, personality counts. A lot. But it also counts whether the personality is wrapped up in a nice-looking container.

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