*boyspoke…we’re not kidding around*

Let me offer up this campaign to Sprint for their new cell phone campaign. You know, the one where they talk about how many minutes you have on your plan so you never have to worry about it?
SETTING: A gym
SCENE: It’s a busy night at the gym. There are many people milling […]

Oh hell no. Seriously. And I had the chance. You know she digs the Boyspokesmen. (Okay, Boyspokesman. Really, aren’t there any guys out there who can put a coherent sentence together who want to rant about women and sit around, playing poker and smoking cigars and watching porn in the […]

So I recently joined a gym. Yes, yes, let’s forego all the pleasantries about how women don’t like men with expanding asses and burgeoning stomachs. That would probably be one of the main reasons why I’m putting good money down to go into that Building of Masochism™ a few times a week to […]

Pop culture is perpetuating such fallacies — that’s FALLACIES, not phallacies — about men and our habits. So it’s a little hard for women to distinguish what’s real and what’s not, and I don’t blame them. Thank Jeebus there’s guys like me to set the record straight.
Myth: Men name their, […]

I was reading this article about “Spunky Single Girl” — you know, the character that’s basically the stereotype of just about every single TV sitcom out there. If you own a TV or have ever watched TV or maybe have only just heard of TV, you know of some TV show that features Spunky […]

Listen up, ladies. The time has come for you to decide: Is chivalry alive and well, or do you want a level playing field?
You want equal pay, equal rights in the workplace and equal benefits. I’ve got no problem with that. But when you then turn around and demand […]

So I keep a spare e-mail address. Actually, more than one. The function of these spare e-mail addresses is to keep me safe from the insane masses out there — because believe you me (and my friends who have heard my multiple Dates From Hell stories), there are some crazies out there, and […]

[Ed. note: If you’re unfamiliar with the song “88 Lines About 44 Women” by The Nails, read this before going further. So what if my rhyme scheme isn’t exact? Let’s see you do all this.]
I really felt appreciated when you took the call from your ex
Immediately after we had sex
Cleaning my desk […]

The memories of a three-month-long Christmas season are still echoing in my head. Mostly, it had to do with the fact that every radio station on the face of the Earth was playing nothing but Christmas music between Labor Day and Christmas Day. And every store and every mall and every elevator and […]

Attention, people of Earth: Do yourselves a favor and pick up a subscription to Esquire magazine. I’m not saying this because they’ve paid me to (they haven’t), I’m not saying this because they put an almost-totally-naked chick on the front cover of this month’s issue wearing only a garter (they did). I’m […]

I have a confession to make about something that you might’ve known or realized already: I do online dating. There. I’ve said it. Don’t you want to make fun of me now? Of course not, because you’re probably doing it too. Plus, it seems that online dating has become […]