Three is a magic number
Posted on Wednesday, December 14th, 2005 by CJ
One of my friends maintains that, in order to pick up any woman, all you need is his three-point plan. When he first said this to me, I immediately asked him why he wasn't marketing his plan on late-night TV, but upon hearing his explanation, I understood why. Steps 1 and 2 are malleable. The goal of Steps 1 and 2 are primarily to get the attention of the target and prevent her from leaving the scene. Step 3 is always "deploy charm."
It works in almost any situation. Suppose you're in your office, looking out the window, and you see a gorgeous woman walking on the sidewalk below. Implement the three-point plan:
Step 1: Open the window and drop a sack of potatoes on her.
Step 2: Rush downstairs in the elevator, then administer CPR to her.
Step 3: Deploy charm.
You see? Just like that. The three-point plan will work flawlessly. And it's applicable to any possible scenario. Suppose you're in a movie theatre and see a woman sitting a few rows away. Implement the three-point plan:
Step 1: Get up and make your way over to her row, then begin shoving your way through her aisle clumsily.
Step 2: Spill everything you're carrying, including your soda and Raisinets, all over her, forcing her to leave her date and go to the bathroom.
Step 3: Follow her outside and deploy charm.
It's infallible. And one of the main reasons why it works so well is the fact that a woman is a sucker for a guy with charm. It's not a matter of what kind of car you drive or how much you make or — God forbid — your looks. We all know that Brad Pitt didn't become People magazine's Sexiest Man Alive twice (the only guy ever to do so!) and managed to swap out the cute Jennifer Aniston for the uber-hot Angelina Jolie based solely on his incredible looks and physique. Man, he's got to have some kind of incredible personality going on there to be able to capture those kinds of women and acclaim.
December 14th, 2005 at 4:49 pm
That’s a sound plan! Now the only thing left to do is work on my charm…
December 15th, 2005 at 4:48 am
Doesn’t work.
I followed a similar 3-point plan (get flyers from a promo girl, fondle her breasts while she wasn’t looking, deploy charm) a month ago in hopes of getting a beejer.
The only beejer I got was from a convicted murderer in the local jail.