Ask CJ
Posted on Tuesday, March 28th, by CJ
Wow, people are actually turning to me for advice. Suckers. I mean, awesome! I love giving advice, just as long as I don't have to take it myself.
Okay, so what does it mean when a guy who’s gay is always saying that if he weren’t gay, he would totally want to marry me. He’s all hands-y and makes me iTunes playlists and finds excuses to stop by and see me and tells all our mutual friends that I’m the greatest thing since sliced wheels. To an extent that I’m confused, and it's gone on for years. Maybe I need to ask a gay guy? I mean he doesn’t seem like the gay-til-graduation type. He seems GAY.
Honey, it means this: He's gay. He enjoys having you around because he sees you as a cool chick, and he probably likes the reciprocal attention you heap upon him in metric assloads because he's pampering you. But unless he's bi — and it sounds like he's ready to break out into showtunes — I'd say it's only going to be a friendship, and you're going to be his good friend who he loves… like a friend.
A friend's roommate is gay. He thinks I'm the keenest. He thinks I'm funny, he thinks I'm smart, he thinks I have great taste in music, and he enjoys being around me. He's flat out told me that if I was gay, he'd be all over me like butter on corn. He's just as expressive and flamboyant about it as your friend sounds like he is with you. The thing is, stereotypes wouldn't be stereotypes unless there was some shred of truth to them, so with our gay friends, well, at least in my case, he fits the stereotype to a T. So your friend being "hands-y" and expressive can be just him being, well, gay.
The other option, of course, is that he's emotionally entrapping you. Like I said, he probably enjoys the attention you give him and he likes having you around to do stuff with, but he doesn't want to see you off with other people because then he'd lose the affection you give him, so he's either consciously or unconsciously trying to get you to become emotionally attached to him.
Or maybe you should ask a gay guy.