The Gold Digging Scale
I know there are some quality ladies out there who couldn’t care less about how much bacon their men bring or have brought home. But let’s just stop and gather some data. In order to do that, I’ve created a tool to help us measure where individual women fall on a five-point scale of blood-sucking…
Boyspoke’s Bitch of the Month Club
Take a quick surf on the internet and you’ll see that everyone is up to their asses in awards. Everyone is giving out accolades. Everyone is giving recognition. Well, here at boyspoke, we don’t want to spend all of our time bitching about women. Instead, it’s time to start giving some lip-service to the women we love…
Paying the Price
All my life, I’ve been basically chivalrous. I open doors for women. In a crowded supermarket, where there is only room for one to pass, I let the women go before myself. I will always carry heavy items for a woman. I will always open the passenger door first for my date when I’m driving her, I’ll make an effort to walk between a female companion and street traffic, and I will always throw my cape down over puddles to let women pass un-muddied…
Beardless Clams and Eels Revealed!
Now I can’t speak for all, but I know a decent percentage of men will back me up when I beg you, ladies, to please, keep the putting green neat. Personally, and it is personal, I think the less undergrowth, the better.
Playing a Man Down
Everyone knows that the worst part of a breakup isn’t so much in the goodbye. Sure, there’s tears, bruised egos, and sometimes way too much information about who your ex is rebounding with. But all that isn’t too bad, usually because you’ve been expecting it. If you’re lucky (or unlucky in many cases) there’ll be the breakup sex. But something worse, which we never ever think about when we start playing adult peekaboo, is that once we breakup, we have to talk to everyone else about it.
How Many Bags Will You Be Checking Today?
An expectant young woman, waiting outside the gates at the airport, running up and throwing her arms around the man she’s been waiting for, only to think, “hmm…no bags. We’d better go shopping, or else he’ll be wearing the same nasty boxers the whole time he’s here, and borrowing my toothbrush. Gross.”
Bah Humbug!
I should have carried it myself, or at least paid to have it signed upon receipt. Either way, Santa must never have gotten my list, because goddamn if I didn’t get a single thing I wanted for Christmas.
Internet Quasi-Fauxlebrity
Like so many others on the internet, Mulgrew doesn’t know shit, even as he poses to be some kind of authority on not-knowing-shit. I mean, he’s practically an alchemist, the way he’s convinced people that being pathetic is cool.
Get Out the Paint Thinner
Yet this doesn’t mean that we as men don’t have anything to contribute, and it certainly doesn’t mean that women can’t stand to learn anything from us.
“Step Away from the Jumbotron”
But halfway through typing I was interrupted by the phone call I’d been dreading for ages…
Mickey Does Mississippi
It’s my second night in Mississippi and I’m inside this ninety pound Indian girl who’s calling me “Bad Boy” and asking me if that’s all I’ve got–
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b1gdummy on: The Two Sides of the Equation
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RS on: Donde Esta La Spunk?
RS on: I'm Just The Boy Who's Had Too Many Chances
